Poor Me

Poor Me
Category: Life

I'm having a self-doubt day.

Waking up this morning I didn't want to get up.

The fear was on me.

Really felt like duvet diving.

Not an option.

So I picked up a paint brush- after getting dressed- and spent two hours doing the edges of my work-in-progress bedroom; before going to work.

When I'm feeling like this my head focuses on anything negative it can latch on to.

Today I'm struggling with the "you don't know anything" voice.

Doing an assessment with someone there was one question about the probation service that I didn't know the answer to.

Coming from the training background I do- The Priory- my two weakest area of knowledge are welfare benefits and the criminal justice system.

Note to self: do something about this.

Lately I've been doing pretty well at ticking things off my To Do list but this effort hasn't extended as far as benefits forms and the probation service.

I can see that my own negative experiences of both are leading to unconscious resistance.

Looking at why my head's a bit fried today?

There is lots of change going on and I'm unsure of where I'm heading.

Over the weekend I experienced three of the four H.A.L.T's: hungry, angry, lonely, tired.

I'm feeling fat and quite down on myself physically.

Oh, dear.

Poor me, poor me..pour me a drink.

Time to up my recovery meetings and call my sponsor for a long chat.