Crash & Burn

I'm really glad that I phoned my gran for a chat last night and warned her that the word "arselickers" had slipped out of my mouth: whilst talking about liggers in the music biz enabling musicians' addictions.

And that my somewhat casual use of our beautiful language may end up in print in a national newspaper.

She tutt-ed at me- in a slightly amused way, but with an edge of, "you have a great vocabulary why resort to such a nasty word">

Have just woken- in what feels like the middle of the night- and couldn't resist a quick peek at The Guardian.

Oh dear!

The Guardian is so liberal. They've let me express myself totally au naturel.

Actually, I don't really mind. It's a strong quote (even if I do say so myself)...

Patrick Barkham has done a really good job of writing about Tough Love. (But it looks like they haven't put in Frank's contact details, which is a bit frustrating).

..And there are far worse words that could have slipped out.

I love the f*** word and am quite fond of the c*** word too (in the right context).

It's really interesting what does and doesn;t make it into a newspaper.

The other day the Sunday Express cut all the references to my being gay. Which actually slightly changed the facts of my story: instead of my girlfriend being the one to convince me to go to rehab- they implied that my brother was the sole hero of the day.

Why would they cut all the "girlfriend" refs and female pronouns?

I can only assume that because the story was such a positive one they felt that it would be better for their middle-England audience not to be troubled by my uncomfortable sexuality?

In the picture- which they gave a pink background to- I look very girly (BIG hair).

Perhaps, I don't look like the mainstreams view of a lezza?

Who knows what was going through their minds, for sure?

At least they didn't doctor my image.

The last time I was in the Daily Mail- they manipulated the picture to turn a broad grin into a miserable thin line of a mouth- leaving me looking like a total freak.

Why? I guess they felt that I looked a bit too happy for someone talking about such a sad history and preferred the image of tortured pathos to that of a happy ending.

These minor manipulations of reality are nothing compared to what happens to some of my friends.

I am so glad that I am not famous.

My lovely sponsor has horrible lies and stories made up about her- on a regular basis.

Actor Steve was stalked in a cloak and dagger manner for a week- before a journalist came out of the shadows and door-stepped him.

He woke-up the next day to a front-page tabloid article entitled "Eastenders Junkie Axed". Nice.

Very little truth got in the way of a good soap-opera headline.

Anyway. The cats are both asleep and I should be too.